Each new dawn I will attempt to write down words that are on my heart, reaching deeper, as God allows me the amazing privilege of boldly entering His presence.
The closer we get to God, the more spiritually sensitive we become. Our personal relationship with God has everything to do with receiving revelation. God’s possession of us ( setting us apart to belong to Him ) enables us to sense His presence with us. So to the extend that we are possessed by God do we sense His presence with us and around us. We need to heed the spirits call to “come aside”. All of our senses are activated and enhanced as we surrender to our creator, yielding ourselves to God and complying to His will for our lives. In Hebrews 5:14 it says that “Solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil”. My experiences in God have been in the feeling and vision/dream realms. It has been difficult having to continually surrender my feeling senses to the Holy Spirit so that God can use me in the way He intended when He created me…and not over react when sensing something in my body that is trying to tell me something about my environment or the people I am with. I have become sensitive to atmospheric changes, feelings of pressure and release around me, also pains in different parts of my body that I cannot always identify. What I do know now is that those pains are not my own, I can rest in that and turn to the Holy Spirit for guidance as how to react and pray. My intention regarding discernment is to stay close to the Lord and follow His leading. I have also smelt the sweet fragrance of the Lord on a few occasions, like a rose fragrance and would like to become even more sensitive to the Holy Spirit by keeping myself pure and continually watching over my heart asking the Lord for healing, and progressive sanctification in the area of unhealed hurts. In Proverbs 4:23 it says ” Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the issues of life”. I don’t think that any of us will be completely perfected in this life time, but we can expect God’s spirit to do miracles by getting into His word and drawing closer to Him. Over the years there have been many dream/visions, which have been helpful in making me aware of something I needed to know. God’s love for us is amazing! One of those dreams was about my dog, a dog I had when still living in Arizona. I went to visit a friend in Los Angeles for the weekend and took my dog with me, ( God loves dogs ) on arrival I decided to enjoy the late afternoon sun by taking a walk on the beach with my dog. After a few minutes of walking, I set myself down against a rock facing the ocean with my dog next to me, I must have dozed of because when I woke up my dog was gone. I jumped up and started to call her and look for her, she was nowhere to be seen. The highway was close to the beach and my concern was that she had crossed the highway to the other side into the bushes. The sun was setting and I decided to leave and go back to my friends house. I had peace about the thought that I would see her again. That night I had a very clear dream about me walking on the beach to exactly the same place I was the day before. As I was walking along the beach, in the distance I could see a dog coming toward me, limping on three legs…I could not recognize the dog it was still to far away. Then all of a sudden I saw it was my dog. End of dream/vision.
When I woke up in the morning the first thing that came into my mind was the dream I had that night. I got out of bed and got dressed in a hurry to go back to the beach, to exactly the same place. As I started to walk down the beach I saw a dog coming toward me, limping of course, just as I saw it in the dream. I was ecstatic but at the same time apprehensive not knowing the condition of her leg, as she came closer I saw that her tail was wagging and she recognized me. Her back leg (thigh) was in a bad condition and ripped open, it looked like she was hit by a car which had been my thought and concern. Back in the car, I took her to the nearest Veterinarian and they lovingly fixed her up. What an amazing example of Gods love for us and animals. He truly cares about every detail of our lives.
The journey for me has been about a journey of seeking and looking for God in all the right places. I believe today that those places, were the right places for me, because it was in those places that He caused me to draw closer and closer to Him. From sinner to seeker, to believer, to disciple and to overcomer. I learned that I passed through seven stages of awareness in order to be brought out of bondage towards the fullness of truth and into the life of an overcomer. The word “awareness” meaning the knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. My first stage of awareness was a “hunger for truth”. When I reached the age of about 24 years old and after abusing my body for about 6 years with alcohol and drugs, I hit a wall, and started to scream out to God for truth, and, that this life that I was living could not be all there was! God heard me, and responded with giving me the desire to “seek for truth,” which was the second stage. Note here, how I don’t call it “the Truth”, that was still a long way off. Now, I don’t know why God took me down this road that I was about to embark on, but He did. Maybe it was so that I can tell you that everyone’s journey is different and that He broke the mold when He created me and set me on my own individual journey. The road that He set me on, finally led me to choosing “the Truth”, but only after almost ten years of “seeking for truth” which took me into eastern teachings, guru’s, channeling of certain beings, and 3 day intensives, this is where I was touched and never smoked a cigarette again…all these experiences caused me to see things from a different perspective and softened my heart, but, there was still something missing. Only after I finally chose “the Truth”, which is the third stage and then started to except “the Truth”, that being stage four, did I have an encounter with the Lord that changed the direction of my life and caused me to go deeper with Him. The fifth stage of awareness is knowing “the Truth”, and getting to know the Lord on a intimate level where His presence is felt in a tangible way and it starts to change us from the inside out. The sixth stage is believing “the Truth” where we start being tested in the things of God, His word and His promises, and then, to finally get to the seventh stage of living “the Truth” where we are now well on our way to living the life of a true believer in Christ and we are trusting Him and are being led and guided by Him on a daily basis, listening to the unctions and promptings He gives us. The level of awareness of God’s manifest presence in our lives will impact the way we live, pray, worship, treat other people and deal with problems.
As the revelation of our destiny unfolds, as clarity of heart and mind begin to align themselves to each other, we will begin to take our place in that which God has given us to do, and we will be able to say with conviction “for this purpose I came into the world”.
Often I have thought of the importance of a spiritual family versus a blood family, which seems to be something that becomes more clear as we grow up and mature into people who have found the greater threshhold, where the second stage of life may be initiated and begun. To discover your purpose you have to lose your home, (metaphorically) the son of men had nowhere to lay His head. We need to become uncomfortable in what we were once comfortable in. In the gospel of Luke, Jesus says, “when you follow me as my disciple, you must put aside your father, your mother, your wife, your sisters, your brothers —–yes, it will even seem as though you hate your own life…this is the price you will pay to be considered one of my followers. And anyone that comes to me must be willing to share my cross and experience it as his own, or he cannot be my disciple. So don’t follow me without considering what it will cost you. If you have ears opened by the Spirit, hear the meaning of what I have said and apply it to yourselves.” Jesus the King of love is not saying to hate, but to put aside every other relationship into second place.
Well, it will cost you everything that you thought you could never live without. If you don’t believe me, just keep following Jesus. There is great joy in becoming free of earthly bondages. You can focus on what you would lose or on how hard it would be, but you forget that the reason you let go is to be opened to more joy. You will then begin to feel more confident and more peaceful. The upheavel of the one that decides to go to the next dimension, out of their comfort zone…needs the help of someone that has already gone there, such as a person in the spiritual family. The blood family certainly has its place, we love our families, there is an emotional connection that binds us but not always in positive ways. Negative, critical thoughts and words from our blood families do not make us better at life. They make us feel stuck, weak and unmotivated to move forward. It is choosing to look at circumstances positively that will empower us to do the right things. Find the hope that new beginnings are always possible, no matter what.
These last few days my mind has been on the “contending” for a promise given and the necessity of perseverance to see it through, no matter what. This is not only for ourselves but for others, that they may see that God is good and that their faith may be strengthened because of it. Some people just give up too soon when they are at the threshhold of breaking through promises revealed, to promises fulfilled. When we receive a prophetic word from the Lord He has a date of fulfillment in mind. After that word is released, He starts working in our hearts and lives to make sure that His word comes to pass. Our lack of response to that process of change, causes the timing of fulfillment to be delayed. This is not for the faint hearted or the worldly believer, I know, at times it takes all of our strength we have to continue. I remember years ago in America when I was at the brink of breaking through a situation which really tested me. There was an opportunity that would have presented itself to me, should I have persevered and stuck it out. It was something that I really wanted to do but I could not wait any longer for that door to open, and began believing it would never happen. Only some time after that, did I realise what actually happened there, it was total lack of faith on my part (spiritual immaturity) and allowing myself to come under the influence of negative voices of people that thought I was wasting my time there. I learned a great deal through that experience, it taught me to always persevere in something I believed in. It gets hard when we don’t see the results we are hoping for coming to fruition. We run out of everything, but God is so good. He gives us renewed strength and renewed hope on a daily basis and also the ability to keep persevering when this road grows long. Our personal victory will build a testimony so that others may benefit from it, and it will help them to receive strength and encouragement to keep going. Who knows, we might be contending for the deliverence of our entire family, friends and church. This is not for us alone, there is a higher purpose in it…—-so that His name should be Glorified in all of this.
Have you ever thought about why it sometimes appears that God is nowhere to be found? These are the seasons when God is hiding, so to speak, also known as a time of “hiddenness” which is when He wants us to totally rely on His word and promises, always busy stretching our faith. We all need to learn the discipline of walking by the Spirit and not by the flesh. During these times of hiddenness ask Him for wisdom and understanding, God’s wisdom is the revelation of who God is and what He is doing in our life in a particular season of our life. Faith depends on our understanding of the nature of God, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that He is faithful and that He will never leave us or forsake us. We are like little children always wanting to unwrap presents, we expect life to be adventurous and exciting all the time and we don’t want that to change, but it does! There would be no spiritual growth if there were only times of “manifestation”, the seasons where we feel His tangible presence and His touch upon our lives in an immediate way. I remember the time when I opened my heart to the Holy Spirit and was filled with His power, that was a time of manifestation, it was awesome. This was a season where I truly entered another dimension, His presence manifested itself to me on a regular basis. What an incredible gift that was. I call those seasons “times of awe.” Without these different seasons there would be no building of character, no trusting Him for our provision, and no faith walk required. Our faith needs to become the “walking on water” kind of faith, not the “just getting the rent paid” kind of faith. God always increases His flow when we are stretched, and when we decide to go deeper with Him… much is required of us, because much will be given to us which we will have to be responsible for. When God hides from us it is a time to draw closer to Him. He says; I’m with the risk taker, not the one that plays it safe… —the testing that we go through is not evidence that we have heard Him wrong. All progress in the Christian life is by faith, and God has no plans on changing His way.
What can God do for us that He hasn’t already done, He can do it for us again! We can come and come again, and God is willing to give, if only we believe…
We have become His poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny He has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it! (Ephesians – tPt)
This morning in my time with the Lord I thought about why there are still so many of God’s people questioning their purpose here on earth, and are still wondering what they should be doing to bring that into fulfillment. I believe that we are all uniquely “wired” for a specific gifting. What has He placed in your hand? What gift has He given to you, that you can use as a platform? He wants you to use your gift as a platform. What God has for you is in the deep things, don’t be so careful…go deeper. Let me give you an example…
I received something in my spirit…and now I am walking in it. Now if you have received something in your spirit and believe that you have received it, keep walking in it, and you will have it! I am a spirit and I have the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit who searches the deep things of God and then reveals it to my spirit… how then can we still doubt when we have been given the Holy Spirit who knows all things. Exercise your spiritual senses, you have them! We have got so much more than we believe, the problem is that maybe we have heard something about ourselves ( an untruth possibly ) and believed it. Until we change the words that are in our heads…nothing will change, because what we imagine in our heads will manifest in our lives. “We did not receive the spirit of this world system but the Spirit of God, so that we might come to understand and experience all that Grace has lavished upon us. And we articulate these realities with the words imparted to us by the Spirit and not with the words taught by human wisdom.” (1 Corinthians 12. (tpt) Don’t listen to what other people tell you and to what they think is expected of you if it doesn’t feel right in your spirit. Follow the road to fulfilment by understanding God’s redemptive design for you and allowing it to guide your footsteps.
“Things never discovered or heard of before, things beyond our ability to imagine – these are the many things God has in store for all His lovers. But God now unveils these profound realities to us by the Spirit. Yes, he has revealed to us his inmost heart and deepest mysteries through the Holy Spirit, who constantly explores all things. After all, who can really see into a person’s heart and know his hidden impulses except for that person’s spirit? So it is with God. His thoughts and secrets are only fully understood by his Spirit, the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 12. (tpt)
I want to run and not be weary; I want to walk and not faint. This boundless, sustained energy only comes from spending time with God. We can’t receive it through the laying on of hands or some other form of ministry; it only grows from resting in Him. Everything in life is a gift. It’s a powerful moment when you’re broken and finally realize that the striving goes away, you don’t do things for recognition, you do things because you’re recognized by Him. C. S. Lewis wrote in his book “The Weight of Glory,” that the Lord finds our desires not to strong but to weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased…
For sure, living the overcoming life and standing on promises that have been given to us is not for the faint of heart. We come to church and expect God to do something for us, remove our mountains perhaps? The mountains are placed there for a reason, not so that we can go around them and then expect victory. What is your mountain? What is it that you are not willing to let go of and let God do that needed work in you, that catapults you forward into his great promises. Is it your anger, pride, idolatry etc. Whether we are gifted or not, knowing that the gifts come without repentance, we still long to enter that promised land and that’s where it becomes costly. Moses never entered his promised land and God used him in a powerful way, unfortunately his anger and disobedience got the better of him. Too many of us are still postponing the inevitable where God will have His way in the end. Words spoken out over us is a heavy thing to carry and the price is high, God says ——die for my Kingdom here on earth, flesh has no place here, only life in the spirit. We forget we are in a battle, and that bringing down heaven to earth is a fight. Grace, ease, comfort etc. are momentary states that rarely last a long time for a true deciple of Jesus Christ. When I say the price is high, by that I mean we have to give up certain things and let go of some other things that hold us back, and that offends our flesh and is painful. The enemy knows this and assaults us with disappointment and discouragement. Dying to self ultimately is a liberating action that produces joy and peace and also causes us to have a walk with God for ourselves, hearing from Him ourselves.
With out hope we are hopeless, as far as I can remember back into my childhood I’ve had hope and vision. As poor as we were, our house was always the best house with the warmest lighting flooding out of the windows (that’s how I saw it of course ) Coming home in the winter just after dark at about five pm I was usually running to get home in time, so that my mom wouldn’t worry. As I approached our place I slowed down and looked at our windows thinking how inviting those windows appeared, the neighbours’ windows always appeared cold and unfriendly to me. Even then God helped me to look beyond my circumstances and filled me with hope. We weren’t brought up in God, my mother did her best and raised us on good principles, and for that I am grateful. Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen even when nothing looks like it will. I had plenty of those days in my childhood. Hope keeps us positive and gives us a will to live. Many times we were told not to put our hopes up, maybe that is why today I am forever hopeful. It says in Romans 5:5 that this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us. ( tPt) I dreamt and had visions of going to America, land of the free, and ended up there years later. My point is, don’t ever give up on your dreams and keep hoping for the miraculous to manifest in your life…don’t settle for less then what God wants to give to you which is the desire of your heart.
If you are amongst those less fortunate to have not received an education, you are most fortunate and blessed to have received talents and gifts that can open doors that no man can shut. My whole life has been about stepping into unknown territory, hoping that the unknown territory would take me to my destiny. Our destiny is what we are best cut out for, it’s what gives our life meaning, hope, joy and deep satisfaction. I discovered though, along the way, that the journey is more important then the destiny. It’s not only about reaching our destiny, but about what we are learning on the way there. Are we learning how to love, have we died to ourselves and our own negative pride, have we learned to be grateful, patient, tolerant, etc. Preparing for our destiny is all about honing our skills and maturing into them, building character, so that we are able to handle not only what comes…but also what comes against us. It takes time and perseverance to come to a place of completion. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. (Proverbs 16:3) You can’t give up, destiny happens over a lifetime it is an unfolding of who we really are. It’s a gift to be unwrapped over time.
I have always had a faith that was supernaturally placed within me and a love that is unconditional for my fellow man. This kind of love didn’t always serve me well until I gained some wisdom and understanding and was able to detach myself from certain people and situations that were very toxic. Trying to love unconditionally and getting it wrong can be a miserable journey. I love my partner/friend unconditionally doesn’t mean I love that person with a purity that transcends my everyday interaction, but it does mean that in every interaction, I come from a place of love. That place of love means I act respectfully and treat my partner/friend as an equal. That means I don’t judge or try to control and I don’t hit below the belt and use my partner/friend’s vulnerability against him or her. These conditions are best not to violate… If I love unconditionally but I am not loved in the same way, it isn’t unconditional love — it’s damaging self sacrifice. Set your boundaries. A boundary is nothing more then a healthy understanding of my own value, and of which behaviours value and devalue me. Boundaries are not conditions we set that say, I’ll only love you if you do X, or I won’t love you if you do Y. Is God’s love unconditional? There is such a thing as unconditional love in God, but it’s not what most people mean by it. Yet when we read the scriptures, it shows that God’s love for us is conditional. For example; It is not the love that will admit us into heaven when we die because John says, “Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life” and faithfulness is a condition. ( Revelation 2:10) Also James 4:8 says “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” these are just a couple of conditions in the word of God. There are plenty more… —-for our good. So then, how does God love us unconditionally, he loves us with electing love unconditionally. “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ” (Ephesians) When we speak of the unconditional love of God it would serve us well to search out the biblical meaning of what the scripture says and find our feet on solid ground… —-for me this has cleared up much confusion and given me something to meditate on.
God wants to take us from strength to strength, from victory to victory, and from glory to glory. In Ephesians 3:20 it says that he wants to do abundently above and beyond all that we could ever ask or think, according to his work within us. So, to the extent that he’s allowed to work in us, will be the extent that he does great things through us. After meditating on this for a while, I envisioned so many people walking away from their dreams, because people are refusing to die to themselves, and let God have his way in their lives. To what extent do you allow God to have his way in your life? I realise now that God is always good but that everything that happens to us, is not always his will for for our lives, but he is always able to bring good from any situation as we trust him. His awe inspiring, all knowing sovereignty means that he can take my weaknesses and use them for his glory. It means that when people wrong me and the consequences of their decisions fall upon me, I don’t miss out on his favour. Whatever happens to me that is outside of his perfect will, he is able to work together for good, because I love him.
And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundations of the universe. Because of his great love, he ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in His eyes with an unstained innocence. Ephesians 1 : 4 (tpt)
God is not the back up plan for those of us that did not have a good upbringing, he knew us from the beginning and loved us, and, that alone should give us the confidence to believe that in him, we can do all things and succeed through Christ who strengthens us. When words are spoken out over us, hold on to those words, speak them out, read them over and over again. A prophetic word is an invitation from God for the person who is prophesied over to journey with God in relationship toward his desired outcome. It is to experience him and the reality of what it means to walk in relationship with him, to be guided by him and see his plans for our lives come to pass. The Word given, is to be a true representation of God’s heart and intent for us. Do not give up, if you give up at this stage, you will never get to the next stage. Yes there will be complications, without them, you can not be a conqueror.
This morning during my quite time I reflected on my past and everything that I have gone through, no regrets, it made me the person I am today. I now realise that my faith played a big part in my past and without it, I would not have come to the place I am today…standing in faith for God to do what seems to be impossible in the eyes of others. I now also realise how faith and love are connected and that we cannot have one without the other. God puts us right with him by the power of his spirit working through our faith. So what really matters is faith that works through love! Why is faith so hard? Is it that we do not have enough love…how are faith and love connected, have you ever wondered what faith and love have to do with each other? Galations 5:6 says; all that matters now is living in the faith that is activated and brought to perfection by love. When faith and love are brought together our entire outlook will begin to change and we will begin to view the world through God’s eyes. God wants us to walk in love, because his love never fails.
Some more of my thoughts on love and the heart, if we are centered we are living from the heart in a balanced state of love and trust that is in sync with the natural flow of God. Our perspective is one of balance and we tend to listen to the muttering of our own heart when faced with decisions. I think that a heart disorder is the manisfestation of the opposite mindset. If we are having heart trouble we probably tend to take everything to heart, or take things far to seriously. We are not allowing the flow of God in our lives and fighting the current to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion. We tend to deny our own needs and fulfill other peoples needs in order to be loved. We seek love through what we do for others…Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves, do we love ourselves enough? I doubt it…something to meditate on and place before God. This has been something that I have had to deal with on my journey with Jesus.
We have a wealth of information stored deep inside of us, but we need to learn to access it, it was placed there by our creator from the beginning. When we let go of past hurts and deeply suppressed emotional imprints from our past, those channels unblock and revelation floods in. Yes, only God can do that but we have to place ourselves in an atmosphere of becoming increasingly separated unto God. Sanctification comes in the realm of the truth, in the presence of the truth. “Sanctify them by the truth” John17: 17 The key to sanctification is to know and obey the truth…our identity needs to be found in Christ first, where we no longer chase after the desires of our flesh but instead seek to bring God glory in all areas of our life. Spiritual growth is a process, a progression toward holiness, embrace the process and lets get intimate with the one who is the answer…we can not grow in Christ if we are focused on our sin, failures, or the devil. The more we seem to focus on our struggles the more we become consumed with what we focus on. If we make Christ our focus, then all good fruit will grow out of that relationship, an abiding relationship. He needs to be our ambition and focus…
To be seated in heavenly places with Jesus means entering into His rest and giving up control of everything we do not have control over…then, by constantly using our faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside of us, and the resting place of God’s love will become the very source and root of our life. Sweet beautiful surrender…that’s where I want to be, nothing is worth holding on too if it isn’t part of His plan and purpose for our lives. Our displacement pushes us into our purpose, I will never fit because I am not at home, not yet. So today again I surrender with a contrite heart and a longing soul for all things good…
My thoughts this morning were on forgiveness and to me that covers a wide range of things. Do we tolerate eachother, do we except eachother for who we are, do we show genuine interest in one another? These are just a few things to me that cover forgiveness. Forgiving someone that has wrongly treated us is a small part of the whole, although a very important one. I have learned over the years that we can only get so much from people because none of us are perfect, the rest we have to get from Jesus. He is the only one. So my question always remains; are we spending enough time with him? To allow him to change us…his nature needs to be formed in us so that we then can be all of the above. I love people so much but only with the measure that Jesus imparts in me…the rest would be conditional.
Again this morning…Lord take us deeper, lift us higher…help us to grasp the limitless possibilities of your presence. One minute of God’s presence can accomplish more than years of our striving to get it right in the love department. Everybody needs to get to a place where they get touched by God…cry out for it, cry out for the baptism of fire, do it for the sake of the Kingdom here on earth. Without His power we are powerless and inaffective in our efforts to love others in the way that He loves us, conditionally, yet unconditionally!
Ken Mattox stated this so beautifully…
“There is going to be a remnant baptized with Holy Ghost and Fire, they are going to burn with passion and love, and you are going to catch fire when you are around them because they are lit up. Who wants to live un-lit? I love fire! I think God loves fire. God is fire. Every sacrifice had to be consumed by fire. God is a consuming fire. Israel was led by a cloud and fire. Holy Ghost falls in tongues of fire. I love that God has fire as an attribute of His character. Fire consumes. Fire empowers. Fire enlightens. Fire heats up the situation. I believe God is ready to baptize us with Holy Ghost and Fire.”
Please click on “Faith Like Feathers” for my testimony.