The reason why I write these posts is not so that I can talk about myself…but to glorify His name in all of this that I experienced. I am by nature a shy person and I would dare to say a bit of a “Mystic” always desiring to seek His presence in all circumstances. So, what is a Christian Mystic? A person concerned not with knowing the letter of the Word, or religious dogmas, but with knowing the Spirit of the Word, which is to say living from within the experience of God’s word at the very core of being. A mystic, quite simply, is a lover of God who pursues the beloved from a deep realization that life as a Christian is evolving as the soul moves toward its fullness and destiny in relationship to God. My hope is that what I have written down here, may help people to recoqnise what they might have encountered with this awesome God we serve but never dared talk about.
Living the over coming life is not for the faint hearted nor is it for the one who looks back and regrets the mistakes they have made. A friend of mine once said to me are you an overcomer or an undertaker, I thought about that and realised that I definitely had buried a few things in my life that I needed to dig up and revive. (Dry Bones – Ezekiel 37: 4) They were God ordained things, things that I was given but did not know how to handle correctly because of Spiritual immaturity, opportunities that presented themselves and I blew them because of pride and lack of wisdom. I had buried these things because I gave up on them and saw myself as a failure not measuring up to “peoples” expectations. I have learned that we cannot overcome by the strength of our flesh, it is only by life in the spirit when we have died with Christ and been resurrected with Him to live a Godly life, a creative life filled with His resurrection power that constantly revives us and inspires us to take our mountains instead of going around them again and again… our trying to have victory according to the law will only bring frustration. Rather than trying to kill the flesh by the flesh, we walk by faith that it is Christ in us who empowers us to overcome. Yield to the work of My Spirit says the Lord…and you will overcome! My mistakes have become my stepping stones to a higher experience in Him, where there are no boundaries or limits to what we can accomplish.
Many years ago I was given a dream or it could have been a vision (I’m not sure what it was), it was so clear and vivid that it has always stuck with me up till today. In the dream I saw myself climbing up huge stone stairs very much like the stairs of a Roman collosseum When I reached the top of the stairs there were three beings standing there, two males and one female. The female was standing in between the two males, she was much older than the males. Her hair was long and grey and she emanated an air of wisdom, the males were young and strong with beautiful long hair. As I reached the top of the stairs one of the male beings reached down to me and handed me a stone. Not having completely reached the top yet, I reached up and took it from him. I looked at the stone, it was very light in colour, almost white and there was something inscribed on it but I could not understand it. I asked the young male what it meant and then he said to me “you will know in time”. That was the end of the dream/vision, it never left me . It was only a few years ago that I became aware of a scripture in God’s Word, Revelation 2:17 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.” This scripture literally jumped off the paper when I first became aware of it and reminded me immediately of the dream/vision I had back in the seventies, when I lived and worked in Los Angeles as a Freelance photographer. There have been many things over the years since I had that dream, that I was called to overcome. Only through caring for my heart did I learn to hear His voice and did I start having some major victories in areas that seemed so blocked and bound up. Our hearts are the dwelling place of God. Caring for our hearts is how we protect our relationship with God, it is how we commune with Him. It is where we hear His voice. Caring for your own heart isn’t selfishness, it is how we truly begin to love. What will you bring to others if your own heart is dry and empty and trampled on? There is so much wisdom behind Jesus’ urging us to love others as “we love ourselves” (Mark 12:31) I see so many people struggle with this, they would rather practice the Christianity of principles and as a result never hear God’s voice. The Journey is painful… but as we purify our heart by taking care of it and not allowing unforgiveness or anger to lodge in it, not allowing it to be defiled through wrong influence, there will be more room for Him to occupy and lead us into higher dimensions.
Is there such a thing as a true born again experience? I know there is…it is a true awakening where old things fall away and the new takes its place in our lives. (2 Corinthians 5:17 ) This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person, the old has gone and new life has begun. Do you belong to Christ? (the Light of the world) and how would you know? Is your life any different from what it used to be, is there a renewal in your thinking? The word of God says that only the Father can draw us to Jesus Christ. Any efforts made by man through manipulation or control will not do it, it won’t last. Only through our own hunger and desire for a higher existence and even then it is because we had a taste and glimpse of that realm, will we pursue that intimacy required of us. Those moments when we cry out to God in total surrender and His love envelopes us and surges through us, that is when our hearts expand and we become willing and pliable in His hands. Many people have seen His Glory and experienced His goodness, only to be enticed again by the world and its principalities and powers of darkness. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6: 24-34 that we have to make a choice, no one can serve two masters. The idol of this world cannot coexist with the God of the bible. That’s pretty clear isn’t it…we want to throw it all together and expect a happy outcome, then we wonder why we are full of anxiety and have no peace in our lives. Something has got to give, obedience is better then sacrifice. Be anxious over nothing Jesus says, when you abide in Me, My peace I will leave with you. Wow! how much more simple can it get. He says stay and have relationship with Me, give me some of your time in surrender to Me and I will indwell in you, give you My peace beyond all understanding. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and I will give you everything you need! ( Matthew 6:33)
The Little Red Bible, The Blood and The Fire.
I am going back now to the very beginning of my story where my heart was being prepared for this very strategically designed plan of God for my life. I was living in Los Angeles at the time and received a phone call from my family letting me know that they bought me a ticket to come to South Africa. It was early November and they asked me to come for a Christmas holiday.
I excepted with a grateful heart not at all realising what lay ahead of me, most probably a good thing because if I would have known I wouldn’t have gone.
It was there that I received Christ in faith, was baptised in water by a Pentecostal couple who were very much from the old school of ministry which I found to be really scary and knew little about. She prayed over me in a language I did not know, asked me to open up my little red bible which I had miraculously found in a bookstore just about a week before that and proceeded to randomly turn the pages to three different places and blood fell on three different scriptures, Ephesians 2:13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. Is it important that I let you know what those scriptures were? I think so because they so applied to me and the life I lived. Here they are… Romans 3 : 10-18 , Romans 4 : 7-8 and Philippians 2 : 7-11. These scriptures told me everything about where I was at, how God saw me and where He was taking me. To go back in time a bit, the little red bible was a small miracle He wanted to impress me with and the thought of having a big black bible did not appeal to me at all, that was way to austere for me. So I said, I will get a bible but it has to be a small red bible. It is amazing how He cares about every small detail of our life. So off I went looking for a small red bible. Now you have to know that little red bibles were nowhere to be seen or found in those days, black and brown was it. The first bookshop I walked into had a Christian book section in the back of the store, walking towards it I noticed the shelf with the bibles on it, I expected to see the little red bible – and there it was, in the middle of all the black and brown bibles… it was alive and illuminated! Believe me, that is how I saw it. On returning to Los Angeles everything was different and I saw with different eyes, I saw it all for what it was and felt no attachment to it. The next thing that happened was, what I later learned is called the Baptism of Fire. One late afternoon I was sitting on my bed contemplating and thinking about the things of God when I suddenly had this urge to ask God to fill me with His spirit and saturate me with His love. What was to come I was not prepared for and it totally took me by surprise… there was an energy that started to take a hold of me, a warmth that gradually turned into heat and became hotter and hotter as if I was set on fire from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I did not know where this was going to go so I dropped side ways on the bed and let it take its course, wave after wave of heat surging through me so intense I could hardly stand it. In Matthew 3 : 11 it says “I baptise you with water for repentance. But after me will come one that is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptise you with the Holy Spirit and with fire”. How long this went on for I don’t know, it seemed like hours until finally this power started to subside. I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning I felt as though I had been turbo charged and had to go out for a run. From that point on my life took a drastic turn in a new direction.
My journey into the heart of God.
I am not a theologian, I have read the bible once from cover to cover which was a huge task for me. Then I started searching the Word and found many answers to many questions I had. “ And you will seek Me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart .” This was not the only way I encountered Him, I encountered Him again when I listened to a strong unction I had to follow His leading into the desert. A beautiful place, it was like Heaven to me…like stepping into another realm and coming home, a place of healing and rest. I left the world as I knew it behind me and took another leap in faith. I say “another” because my whole life seems to have been about stepping in to unknown territory. This place was different from any other place I had ever been to, maybe because of the awareness of His awesome presence being with me and around me every minute of the day and night. I realise now, looking back, what an incredible gift that was and how it changed my way of seeing and perceiving life around me. For those of you who know and have experienced the journey into the wilderness, this should not be unfamiliar to you. For those who have yet to meet Him, I say surrender all, let go of everything you’re holding on to because there are no limits in Him. There is a creek I use to go to in that beautiful high desert place. After a brief hike through and across the creek, which was not easy to get through because of rushing water and river stones, I found a huge flat rock (red in colour) so inviting that I could not resist lying down on it. The silence besides the sound of the running creek and birds chirping and singing was other worldly, I remember it so clearly…the kind of silence that causes you to loose track of time and space and invites you into the moment without fear or anxiety. Is that not what we all long for? To be in that place of complete surrender (centredness, oneness, call it what you are comfortable with) knowing that we are safe there. It was in those moments that anything supernatural could have happened, like an Angel appearing before me or the heavens opening up and God Himself speaking to me with a thundering voice, which would have been incredibly intimidating or scary, but no, not with me…He knew what I could handle, He knows me better then anyone else and He knew just what I needed! Instead He opened up that rock for me – yes the flat rock that I was lying on. I literally sank into it like a warm embrace enveloping me taking away every last drop of emotional hurt, fear and insecurity and filling me with joy, happiness and peace. The Lord is my Rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. ( Psalm 18 : 2 ) He is so awesome! This is how I know Him, and this is how He wants you to know Him, not like some dead idol that needs to be revived through boring repetitious sermons and religious songs. You are being robbed if that is the extent of your knowing about God. A religious fog has gotten a hold of you and blinded you from seeing the real Jesus. Jesus the God of the supernatural (He walked on water remember?) Let go of all your preconceived ideas, your traditional values and unrealistic expectations, His Kingdom is an upside down Kingdom where you die to live, go lower to get higher and you give to receive. Don’t get me wrong…I haven’t totally gotten there myself yet, but I am well on my way!
On Earth as it is in Heaven.
The Kingdom of God is not in word but in power, it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believes. If God created everything, heaven and earth, then He is all powerful isn’t He? May your Kingdom come and your Will be done on earth, as it is in heaven, we the body of Christ will be bringing down heaven to earth by faith, only when we follow in His likeness. God’s Kingdom resides within us here on this earth, it is not some far away place that we hope to go to when we behave a certain way or are good enough. Jesus instructed us to pray the Lord’s prayer so that God’s name would be Glorified and His Kingdom established within us. How many of us today can live in that realm and consistent atmosphere of Miracles, Signs and Wonders? How many of us are that faithful and are walking in that kind of single mindedness. The world’s ways are designed to bring down our faith in God. To keep our eyes on the Kingdom and Kingdom economy takes believing and knowing Him intimately and experientially. Intimacy is a wonderful discipline to learn in the realm of the Spirit, when we learn to access this realm and live in it, everything starts making sense, it all seems to fall in to place for us and everything that comes against us just drives us deeper into God. Oh! to live in His presence…remembering what He has done for us in the past and bringing that into our present situation, believing without a doubt that He will do it for us again. Jesus Christ, when on earth, lived in that realm because He spoke out of the deep and divine abundance of His heart. He spoke of the things He knew about, the things He had seen and experienced in Heaven and we the body of Christ are called to follow in His footsteps. Being satisfied with accepting Jesus Christ into our hearts are our beginning baby steps and that is good, but we were never meant to stay there. Extraordinary living is required here, a life that is exceptional, amazing, unimaginable, well and abundant. Do we fully understand what this Kingdom of Heaven is all about, and what takes place there? God uses our faith to bring things into existence, should it be healing in our bodies, our need for finances, the fulfilment of a vision and promise we were given long ago. Jesus said “don’t be afraid only believe”. In the word of God it says that we cannot please Him without faith. On earth and in our flesh we are limited by the laws of nature, never the less God is in control of all things. Children have no problem accepting the supernatural, they remember. Looking back I remember as a little girl, my mom tucking me into bed in the evening and I would tell her there were birds flying all around us in my room. She would look at me and say go to sleep now and stop your nonsense. Wouldn’t it have been amazing if she would have been able to respond to that in an open minded and inquisitive way, like “what kind of birds”? tell me about it. Things would have been different, we would have grown up being secure in the fact that it is okay to have visions and that there are other realms we can tap into. We could have grown in that and not been taught to believe that it was something weird.
If you are standing in expectation of His Kingdom coming here on earth as it is in Heaven and not waiting and hoping that we will go to Heaven one day through our own efforts and good behaviour, you are heading in the right direction.
Faith Love Grace
Tell me this one thing, did you receive God’s Spirit by doing what the law requires or because you hear the Gospel and believe it! ( Galatians 3:2 )
God puts us right with Him, by the power of God’s Spirit working through our faith. So what really matters is faith that works through love.
It is the Grace of God that saves through faith. This is not our own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
A word I received :
you are delightful
like sunrise and the stars at night fall
you light up a room
with your love sense
and whisk through moments
of heavy as if they were fistfuls
of dust that need to give way
to the powerful fist of the
One Who has the last say
Here are some excerpts out of books that have empowered me and always just appear in the right timing on my journey with Jesus.